Accountability

"If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother.
"But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that BY THE MOUTH OF TWO OR THREE WITNESSES EVERY FACT MAY BE CONFIRMED.
"If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.
"Truly I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall have been bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall have been loosed in heaven.
"Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven.
"For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst."
~Matthew 18:15-20

There are times when I reflect on my spiritual walk and wonder if anything has really changed. If we loook in the mirror everyday, do we see any change? Did I notice a new gray hair this morning that was not there yesterday? Or a deepening of a wrinkle? Or the darkening of a freckle? Nope. Is my heart more in line with Christ today than it was yesterday? Who is to say? My heart deceives me, but only the Lord knows the depths of my heart - it's successes and failures, is capabilities and limitations.

We can look back at old photographs and see changes. Comparing my 4th grade picture to my 5th grade picture shows some change. Comparing to my 12th grade picture shows remarkable change. Comparing to now, it's obviously still me, but radically different from those many, many years ago. Those snapshots remind me of what and who I used to be, semi-permanent reminders of what once was, and glimpes into what and whom I might have become. I can reflect back on what my life was like 6 years ago, and recognize positive change. I "feel" better - that is to say, I think I am a better person now than then. I have relatively little frame of reference, however. The life I once lived was devoid of friends. Literally. I think I had 2 friends when I started getting to know Jesus again 6 years ago. And sadly, time and space and circumstance separated us, so I have no photograph to look at. Just a memory. And memories are imperfect, since they are simply an image, a perception.

So now I rely on some of my friends. And I have been poor in asking their input, asking them how I have changed in the course of time that we have known each other. Because today doesn't necessarily look much different from yesterday, and yesterday doesn't look much different from the day before, and so on. At least from my perspective.

What is my point? The point is that Jesus taught His disciples to be together. To not be alone. He taught them to seek out one another, to hold each other accountable, and hold others accountable, too. We all dislike - to varying degrees - constructive criticism or correction. But it is so very important. We don't always see the forest for the trees. But others around us can. Others can see patterns in us, qualities, habits, characteristics that are solid and strong, or weak and feeble. Those whom I have sought out to befriend, to hold me accountable, can tell you good or bad things about me. They can tell me the same things, too. In recent months I have prided myself on being willing to take criticism, to listen to the concerns of friends, without freaking out and becoming an emotional train wreck. That used to be me. Just ask my brothers. My parents. The slightest word from them when I was younger wrought havoc on my self-esteem. If there was improvement to be made, it was because they didn't love me, didn't care about me. I've learned that that is not the case. I have learned something about safety in relationships - about being approachable, receiving advice and wisdom as God-given, not as critical of my existence.

It is because of the cautionary words from some beloved friends that I have given pause to some aspects of my life, and re-examined them from other angles. We are often blind to some things, because we lack a skill, lack a perspective, or take things for granted. Our friends can be more objective.

God's word says this:
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
~Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

A cord of three strands is not easily broken....

Another wise word from God:
Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.
~Proverb 15:2

We were not meant to go it alone. Not without advice, not without input, and certainly not without the Holy Spirit. The guidance of the Holy Spirit is of primary importance, even above that of our wise counsel. The Holy Spirit will speak to us of truth, in the power and under the authority of God:
"But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come.
He will bring glory to me by taking from what is mine and making it known to you.
All that belongs to the Father is mine. That is why I said the Spirit will take from what is mine and make it known to you."
John 16:13-15

I am grateful for those who have spoken truth into my life, have offered words of wisdom, despite perhaps their own nervousness about sharing something with me that we would likely disagree on, or something that might be an emotional hurt - at least initially. It is daunting to go to another and tell them they may be wrong about something. Wrong about a big thing. I am grateful for the strength of those who have taken that risk, and showed me the love of Christ by coming to me with unsolicited advice. It demonstrates a spirit of obedience in them, a lovingkindness, and a feeling of safety and trust which has only pushed me forward. They have been my mirrors. They have taken some responsibility in letting me know my shortcomings, offering encouragement to push on through the struggle.

Thank you, Father God, for these great friends you have placed in my life. Because of their influence, because You have brought them into my life, I am being molded and shaped, ever so slowly, and sometimes painfully, more and more to Your likeness. Father God, keep it coming. And let me not forget to seek You first above all else, above earthly wisdom. Help me not cause the Spirit to grieve.